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Dubya Audio (2005) (Now serving 222 audible gems)
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I, I don't know — Bono came in and dropped this new iPod off... Lightweight. Crank it on, and you shuffle the shuffle.
We're workin' with our partners to expand prevention efforts, that emphasize abstinence, being faithful in marriage, and using condems correctly.
DUBYA: Herman, last question.
KEN HERMAN (Cox News Service): Respectfully, sir — and you know we're always respectful, in your statement — DUBYA: Most of the time. HERMAN: — this morning with President Hu, you seemed a little off your game. You seemed to hurry through your statement and there was a lack of enthusiasm — DUBYA: When? Here, right now? HERMAN: No, this morning, with President Hu. DUBYA: Hmm. HERMAN: Was something bothering you? Were you tired? DUBYA: Have you ever heard of jet lag? HERMAN: Yes, sir. DUBYA: Well, good. That answers your question. This is a opportunity to positively affirm our belief in democracy, in human rights and human dignity. And so I want to thank you for being a good host. It's not easy to host all these countries, particularly not easy to host, uhh, perhaps, me. But thank you for doing it. You're doing a fine job.
One of the classic moments to come out of the Summit of the Americas. True to form, the White House transcript was also quick to change the third word from "a" to "an". Mar del Plata, Argentina, Nov. 4, 2005 Fifty years ago in Montgomery, Alabama, this humble seamstress stood up to injustice by refusing a bus driver's order that she give up her seat for a white man. Her show of defiance was an act of personal courage that moved millions, including a young preacher named Martin Luther King. She will always have a special place in American history, and our nation thinks of Rosa Park and her loved ones today.
Is it too much to ask for Dubya to get the name of the person he's eulogizing right? And would it have been too much effort for him to append 'Jr.' to 'Martin Luther King'? The mistakes actually make more sense when you hear how much it sounds like he's reading a book report to class. Washington, D.C., Oct. 25, 2005 There, I, I, there, there's some background noise here, a lot of chatter, a lot of, uhh — speculation, and — uhh, opining. But the American people expect me to do my job, and I'm going to.
SERGEANT LOMBARDO: First, I'd like to say that this is a pleasure to speak with you again. We had the honor of your visit in New York City on November 11th, in 2001, when you recognized our Rainbow Soldiers —
DUBYA: Yeah. SERGEANT LOMBARDO: — for their recovery and rescue efforts at Ground Zero. DUBYA: Were you there? SERGEANT LOMBARDO: We began our fight against terror — we began our fight against terrorism — in the wake of 9/11, and we're proud to continue it here in northcentral New York — northcentral Iraq. DUBYA: Let me ask you something. Were you there when I came to New York? SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Yes, I was, Mr. President. DUBYA: Yeah, I thought you looked familiar. SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Well, thank you. Dubya goes off the script in an otherwise fully choreographed "conversation" with military personnel on duty in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Oct. 13, 2005 Over the years these extremists have used a litany of excuses for violence. The Israeli presence on the West Bank, or the U.S. military presence in Saudi Arabia, or the defeat of the Taliban, or the Crusades of a thousand years ago. In fact, we're not facing a set of grievances that can be soothed and addressed. We're facing a radical ideology with — inalterable objectives. To enslave whole nations and intimidate the world. No act of ours invited the rage of the killers.
Umm, Dubya... do you recall the list of their grievances you just recited a few seconds ago? Washington, D.C., Oct. 6, 2005 Listen, I, I, I wanna thank, uhh, leaders of the — in the faith, and uhh — faith-based and community-based community for being here, we've got people who represent thousands of volunteers who are in the midst of helping save lives.
Brownie, you're doin' a heck of a job.
Dubya's comment to FEMA Director Michael Brown, who presided over what was arguably the worst ever performance by FEMA in an emergency situation, Mobile, Alabama, Sep. 2, 2005 First of all, as you know, uhh, we have made — strong steps, ibs, uhh, uhh — we've, we've condemned strongly Iranians' attempt to develop — uhh, any kind of program that would allow them to, uhh, enrich uranium to develop a weapon. In other words, the Iranians, uhh, said they were in compliance with certain international rules, and yet — we found out they weren't in compliance of those rules, and so we're very deeply suspicious of their desires.
Dubya offers up an "uhh-fest" and problematic grammar in a discussion of the Iranian (ihr-rain-ian: pronounced almost exactly the same as uranium) nuclear program, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 9, 2005 Secondly, we're strengthening the defenses at our most important and vulnerable locations. In other words, part of a strategy is ta — to try to figure out where the enemy may attack. You assess your weaknesses, and you build on those — and you, and you, strengthen your weaknesses. That's the — remember, we're, this is a war. This isn't a — you know, maybe a, you know, a ketta, a law enforcement adventure. We're at war with these people, and therefore, during a time of war, you've got to do everything you can to strengthen your defenses. And so we'll continue to enhance protection at our borders and coastlines and airports and bridges and nukyular power pants.
Dubya gets flustered, and delivers a doozy: "nukyular power pants", Baltimore, Maryland, Jul. 20, 2005 In terms of your Prime Minister, he's a — interesting guy. He's a lot of fun to be around. He promotes, uhh, serious business in a, in a, in a way that, uhh, endears himself to people. And so, uhh, I think his presidency has been an important presidency for the EU during difficult times, and he's handled it well. And, umm, I was gonna say he's a piece of work, but that might not translate too well. Is that all right, if I call you a piece of work?
Dubya dons his "diplomatic" hat in welcoming Luxembourg Prime Minister and European Council President Jean-Claude Juncker, White House, Jun. 20, 2005 The relations with, uhh — Europe are important relations, and they've, uhh — because, we do share values. And, they're universal values, they're not American values or, you know — European values, they're universal values. And those values — uhh — being universal, ought to be applied everywhere.
In terms of, umm — you know, the — the detainees, we've had thousands of people detained. We've investigated every single complaint against the detainees. It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on, on the word of, uhh — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth. And so it was an absurd report. It just is. And, uhh, you know — yes, sir.
The word Dubya is looking for here (and not finding) is "dissemble". That doesn't stop Dubya from acting like he's giving the media pool a vocabulary lesson, though. Answering question about criticism made by Amnesty International regarding the treatment of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, White House, May 31, 2005 If you've retired, you don't have anything to worry about. The third time I've said that. I'll probably say it three more times, see, in my line of work you gotta keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kinda catapult the propaganda.
Truth... Propaganda... Pretty much the same thing as far as Dubya is concerned. A surprisingly candid statement, though... Greece, New York, May 24, 2005 Here's the way the system works. Two folks work, they both contribute to the Social Security system. If one dies early, the — thees, the spouse, the — remaining spouse gets to choose her benefits or his benefits, which are ever greater, but not both. Think about that system.
In case you might think this is an isolated flub, let us assure you it isn't. Greece, New York, May 24, 2005 We know that democracies do not forment terror or invade their neighbors.
If you're a two-working family like a lotta families are here in America, and, uhh — two people working in your family, and the, the spouse dies early — before 62, for example — all of the money that the spouse has put into the system, uhh, is gum — held there, and then when the other spouse retires, he or she gets to choose the benefits from his or her own work, or the other spouse's benefits, which is ever higher but not both.
Dubya discusses "two-working families" and their benefits, prime time press conference, White House, Apr. 28, 2005 But you bet, when we find somebody who might do harm to the American people, we will detain them and ask others from their country of origin to detain them. It makes sense. The American people expect us to do that. We, we — we still at war.
Uhh, again, I, I repeat to you, our's – our, our aim is to solve this problem diplomatically. And, uhh, you know, like I've said before, all options, of course, are on the table, but the best way to solve this problem diplomatically is to work with four other nations who have all agreed in, in a, in achieving the same goal, and that is a nukyular-free Korean Peninshula. Final question, Hutch. I don't wanna cut into some of this TV shows that are gettin’ ready to air.
I thought about highlighting all the goofy portions of this passage, but I realized nearly the entire thing would end up being highlighted, so I'll let you pick out your favorite bits. White House, Apr. 28, 2005 Today I am pleased to announce that I have nominated an outstanding military officer, Admiral Ed — Ammiral Ed Giambasteen — Deh — Giam — Giambastiani.
This one is just fun to listen to as he fumbles his way through, and it's also worth noting that the official White House transcript was a little more generous with the transcription, White House, Apr. 22, 2005 Our most abundant energy source is coal. We have enough coal to last for 250 years, yet coal also prevents an environmental challenge.
We're talking about a part of the world in which, uhh, you know, our foreign policy was, let's just hope for the best and tolerate the fact there's no free societies. And — what ended up happening was, there was a — tyrants have emerged, tyrants that threatened our security. And so not only was the action worth it, the action is worth it to make sure that democracy exists, and, uhh, because democracies will yield peace, and that's what we want.
1983, uh, Tip O'Neill, Ronald Reagan, Bob Dole said, we've got a problem, let's, stret, see if we can't fix it. And they put together a 75-year fix, they said. First of all, I appreciate the spirit of Republicans and Democrats comin' together. But it wasn't a 70-yah, 5-year fix. This was 1953. We're only in 2005.
Dubya speaks of shortsighted government fixes, while doing a sterling job of messing up the point of his argument, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Mar. 30, 2005 I'm lookin' forward to meeting these uhh — very brave souls. They've, uhh, committed themselves to a peaceful solution, and hopefully, their loved one'd will not have died in vain. I mean, out of this — hopefully, some good will come out of the evil perpetuated on this family.
Making it sound as if the evil perpetrated on the family is ongoing, Washington, D.C., Mar. 16, 2005 Iran is not Iraq. We just started the diplomatic efforts, and I wanna thank — uhh, our friends for taking the lead and I — we will work with them, to convince the moolahs that they need to give up their nukyular ambitions.
Now, if you're a worker who earns 35 dollars a year over your lifetime, and this system were in effect where you could put 4 percent of your payroll taxes in a personal account, and you started at age 20, by the time you retired, your personal account would grow to 250,000 dollars. That's compounding rate of interest.
DUBYA: Mary is with us. Mary Mornin. How are you, Mary?
MS. MORNIN: I'm fine. DUBYA: Good. Okay, Mary, tell us about yourself. MS. MORNIN: Okay, I'm a divorced, single mother with three grown, adult children. I have one child, Robbie, who is mentally challenged, and I have two daughters. . . . DUBYA: There's a certain comfort to know that the promises made will be kept by the government. MS. MORNIN: Yes. DUBYA: And so thank you for asking that. You don't have to worry. MS. MORNIN: That's good, because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute. DUBYA: You work three jobs? MS. MORNIN: Three jobs, yes. DUBYA: Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doin' that. Get any sleep? Dubya takes pride in the fact that in America, this woman has to work three jobs to stay afloat (By the way, the bit that is crossed out is a bit of conversation that never happened, but ended up in the official White House transcript anyway), Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 Surveys show that the vast majority of people do want to participate in democracy. And, ahh, some are feeling intimidated. I urge alls people to vote.
Yes, that's what he said. But don't worry. The White House transcript was thoughtfully printed without the "s". Washington, D.C., Jan. 26, 2005
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