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Dubya Audio (2004) (Now serving 222 audible gems)
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Now, one of the important aspects of my vision is that this is not automatic citizenship. The American people must understand that. That if somebody who is here working wants to be a citizen, they can get in line like those who have been here legally and have been working to become a citizenship in a legal manner.
Although the White House purged the "ship" portion of "citizenship" in the official transcript, they neglected to alter the audio, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2004 Barney, I know you wanted to be in my cabinet. But I've already given you an important job. Your job is to take care of Miss Beasley. Your job is to welcome her into our family, to make sure that Miss Beasley gets along with Willie. And I don't want you chasin' Willie — around the house anymore, do you understand that? I'm countin' on you.
From Dubya's exciting sequel to 2003's "Barney Reloaded". You have to listen to it, and be glad there isn't video. White House, Dec. 15, 2004 George is rightly — rightly proud of the people of the Agency, and I have been proud to work with George. George has carried great authority without putting on airs, because he remembers his roots. There's still a lotta Queens in George Tenet.
I, frankly, felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable, and I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave — with all five fingers — for — for their hospitality.
Dubya tries to warm up to the crowd, but his breathy chortles kind of ruin it, Ottawa, Canada, Nov. 30, 2004 We will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week —— we will have an all-volunteer army!
Uhh — Gosh, I — don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those, uhh, exaggerations.
To quote Dubya (Mar. 13, 2002): "I — I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him." Third Presidential Debate, Tempe, Arizona, Oct. 13, 2004 BOB SCHIEFFER: Suddenly we find ourselves with a severe shortage of flu vaccine. How did that happen?
DUBYA: Uhhh — Bob, we relied upon a company out of England to provide about half of the flu vaccines for the United States citizen, and it turned out that the vaccine they were producing was contaminated. And so we took the right action and didn't allow contamidated medicine into our country. Yes, he actually said "contamidated", while taking credit for the UK government's intervention in preventing export of contaminated vaccine (and by the way, the "company out of England" is Chiron Corporation of Emeryville, California, which operates a vaccine production facility in England), Third Presidential Debate, Tempe, Arizona, Oct. 13, 2004 The last debate, my opponent said well they only — those lawsuits only caused costs to go up by 1 percent. Well, he didn't — he didn't in — include the defensive practice of medicine, that costs the federal government some 28 billion dollars a year and costs our society between 60 and 100 billion dollars a year. Uhh, thirdly, one of the reasons why there's still high cost in, in medicine is because this is — the, the, the, they don't use an information technology. It's like if you looked at the — it's the equivalent of the — of the buggy and horse days.
Dubya never explains the meaning of "defensive practice of medicine", but rewards the patient listener with the "buggy and horse" line, Third Presidential Debate, Tempe, Arizona, Oct. 13, 2004 Uhh — I hear there's rumors on the, uhh, Internets that we're gonna have a — draft. We're not going to have a draft. Period.
There's more than one Internet? Astounding. Second Presidential Debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 8, 2004 JOHN KERRY: We're gonna build alliances. We're not gonna go unilaterally, we're not gonna go alone like this President did.
CHARLES GIBSON: Mr. President, let's extend for a minute. DUBYA: Let me just — I've gotta answer this. GIBSON: Exactly. And with Reservists being held on duty and — DUBYA: Let me answer just, what he just said about going alone. GIBSON: [obscured] Well, I wanted to get into the issue of the backdoor draft. DUBYA: You tell Tony Blair we're going alone! Tell Tony Blair we're going alone! It is naive and dangerous to take a policy that he suggested the other day, which is to have bilatarelations with North Korea.
This is what happens when Dubya tries to say "bilateral relations", Second Presidential Debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 8, 2004 You see, he's proposed 2.2 trillion dollars of new spending. And say, you say "Well, how are you gonna pay for it?" He said, well, he's going to raise the taxes on the rich — that's what he said — the top two brackets. That raises, he says 800 billion. We say 600 billion. We've got battling green eye shades.
Nothing really wrong with this phrase, it just sounds funny coming out of Dubya's mouth, Second Presidential Debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 8, 2004 The truth of the matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he [John Kerry] were the President of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off.
Speaking carefully... well, that's a different matter, Second Presidential Debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 8, 2004 JIM LEHRER: New question, Mr. President, two minutes. Do you believe the election of Senator Kerry on November the 2nd would increase the chances of the U.S. being hit by another 9/11-type terrorist attack?
DUBYA: I don't believe it's gonna happen. I believe I'm gonna win because the American people know I know how to lead. I've shown the American people I know how to lead. My concerns about the Senator is that, in the course of this campaign I've been listening very carefully to what he says, and he changes positions on the war on Iraq. It's a — changes positions on something as ff — fundamental as what you believe in your core, in your heart of hearts is right for — in Iraq. I — you cannot lead if you send mexed miss — mixed messages.
Dubya sending mexed missages of his own in the First Presidential Debate, Coral Gables, Florida, Sep. 30, 2004 As a matter of fact, this is a global effort. We're facing a — a — group of folks who have such hatred in their heart, they'll strike anywhere — with any means, and that's why it's essential that we have strong alliances, and we do.
As much as Dubya's handlers would likely prefer him to remove the word "folks" from his terrorism playbook, he just can't let it go, First Presidential Debate, Coral Gables, Florida, Sep. 30, 2004 But I, again, I wanna tell the American people, we're doin' everything we can at home, but you better have a president who chases these terrorists down and bring 'em to justice before they hurt us again.
Dubya takes a chastising, podium-pounding attitude and forgets to add an "s" to "bring" in the shuffle, First Presidential Debate, Coral Gables, Florida, Sep. 30, 2004 The Prime Minister said something very interesting a while ago, and it's important for the American people to understand. Our strategy is to help the Iraqis help themselves. It's important that we train Iraqi troops. There are nearly 100,000 troops trained. The Afghan national army is a part of the army. By the way — it's the Afghan national army that went into Najaf and did the work there.
I don't know how Dubya managed to flip the switch in his mind (while standing next to Iraq's interim Prime Minister) from Iraq to Afghanistan and then back to Iraq (Najaf), and apparently not even notice, Washington, D.C., Sep. 23, 2004 We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin' out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their — their love with women all across this country.
This one doesn't stop being funny, no matter how many times you re-read or re-listen to it, Poplar Bluff, Missouri, Sep. 6, 2004 Senator Kerry opposed Medicare reform and health savings accounts. After supporting my education reforms, he now wants to tilute them.
Don't worry, they transcribed it as "dilute" in the official White House transcript, Republican National Convention, New York, New York, Sep. 2, 2004 REPORTER 1: You're not going to Athens this week, are you?
DUBYA: Athens, Texas? REPORTER 1: Ol — the Olympics, in Greece. DUBYA: Oh, the Olympics? No, I'm not. REPORTER 2: Have you been watching them? DUBYA: Oh, yeah, yeah, it's been exciting. REPORTER 2: Any particular moment stand out? DUBYA: Umm — particular moment? I like the — let's see — uhhhm — Iraqi soccer. I liked — I liked seein' the Afghan woman carryin' the flag comin' in. I loved, uhh — you know, our gymnasts. I've been watching the swimming. I like th' — I've seen a lot, yeah. Listen, thank you all. REPORTER: What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century, and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?
DUBYA: Yeah — tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. It's — you're a — you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're — viewed as a sovereign entity. [Laughter emanates from the audience] REPORTER: Okay. DUBYA: And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between — sovereign entities. Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
We are working with our friends to keep the pressure on the moolahs to — to listen to the demands of the free world.
That's the first time I've heard "mullahs" pronounced that way... Thanks, Dubya. White House, Aug. 2, 2004 I have long expressed my concerns about Iran, after all it's a totalitarian society where free people are not allowed to ex — you know exercise their — uhh, their rights as human beings.
If they aren't able to exercise their rights as humans, why is Dubya calling them free people? Washington, D.C., Jul. 19, 2004 Americans are serving and sacrificing to keep this country safe and to bring freedom to others. After the attacks of September the 11th, 2001, this nation resolved to fight terrorists where they dwell. We resolved to arm the terrorist enemy.
The White House website quietly changed "arm" to "disarm", but forgot to take down the video of the event. Charleston, West Virginia, Jul. 4, 2004 This disease leaves suffering and orphans and fear wherever it reaches. Every man and woman and child who suffers from this addiction, from the streets of Philly to the villages of Africa, is a child of God who deserves our love and our help.
Another screwup that was wiped from the official White House transcript (first they published it correctly, then later it was corrected to say "affliction"), speaking about AIDS at the Greater Exodus Baptist Church, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Jun. 23, 2004 The Prime Minister brought up the Abu Garef —— si — situation.
REPORTER: So when you say that you want the U.S. to adhere to international and U.S. laws, that's not very comforting. This is a moral question. Is terr — torture ever justified?
DUBYA: Look, I'm gonna say it one more time. I can — if I can — maybe — maybe I can be more clear. The instructions went out to our people to adhere to law. That oughtta comfort you. We — we're a nation of law. We adhere to laws. We have laws on the books. You might look at those laws. And that might provide comfort for you. And those were the instructions out of — from me to the government. Rick Sanchez has done a fabulous job. He's been there for a — a long time. His service has been exemplorary.
Confirmation at last that Dubya is indeed convinced that the word "exemplary" is pronounced "exemplorary", and that the White House is complicit in disguising this in the official transcript, White House, May 25, 2004 I'm honored to, uhh, shake the hand — of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. Ummm, I'm with sssix other Iraqi citizens, as well, who suffered the same fate. Uhh, they are examples of the — brutality, uhh, of the tyrant.
Granted, I think those words were chosen intentionally, but should they have been? And to be honest, he doesn't sound particularly honored, either, White House, May 25, 2004 Under the dictator, prisons like Abu Gar — reb — were symbols of death and torture. That same prison became a symbol of disgraceful conduct by a few American troops who dishonored our country and "disregardered" our values. America will fund the construction of a modern, maximum security prison. When that prison is completed, detainees at Abu Garomp will be relocated. Then, with the approval of the Iraqi government, we will demolish the Abu Garab prison, as a fitting symbol of Iraq's new beginning.
Dubya starts out shaky, then completely gives up trying to correctly pronounce the name of the prison infamous for American mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners (Abu Ghraib), United States Army War College, Carlisle, Pennsylvania, May 24, 2004 We're encouraged to see more Iraqs take responsibility for resolving the standoff in Najaf.
Soldiers from the 2nd Light Calvary Regiment are conducting reconnaissance to learn the precise strength and location of enemy forces.
You know, there's a lot of people in the world who don't believe that — that people whose skin color may not be the same as ours can be free, and self-govern. I reject that. I reject that strongly. I believe that people who practice the Muslim faith can self-govern. I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily — are, you know — a different color than white can self-govern. And, the Prime Minister — I don't want to put words in his mouth, but — I think he shares that great sense of optimism and possibility.
I'm pretty sure the Canadian Prime Minister would prefer not to have those words put in his mouth, White House, Apr. 30, 2004 Broadband technology must be affordable. In order to make sure it gets spread to all corners of the country, it must be affordable. We must not tax broadband access. If you want broadband access throughout the society, Congress must ban taxes on access.
Dubya gets worked up over broadband technology at the American Association of Community Colleges Annual Convention. Just listen to him pound the podium. Minneapolis, Minnesota, Apr. 26, 2004 Gary [Lytton] is interested in not only, uhh, preserving beauty, he's interested in learning as much as possible to share the knowledge across our country. He's also pretty good about linin' up these volunteers and makin' sure they work. I said, does Gary keep you workin'? He said, you bet. That's good. That's called, uhh — that's called leadership. But Gary, thanks for, thanks for what you're doin'. He tells me that much of the property bought here is a result of — uhh — the bonding issue that Jeb pushed to make sure that much of the great state of Florida is, umm — prodected and preserved — uhh, thoo-out the years to come.
So that's — what — there's some ideas. And the — it's — my job is to like think beyond the immediate.
Like, for sure? [Extra info on this quote: The White House transcribed it as "So that's — those are some ideas. And my job is to think beyond the immediate." That's generous even by their standards.] Washington, D.C., Apr. 21, 2004 You see, what that meant is — if you got a wire tap by court order — and, by the way, everything you hear about requires court order, requires there to be permission from a FISA court, for example. ...And they're an important tool for those who are on the front line of using necessary means, with court order, to find these terrorists before they hurt us, look, what I'm telling you is — is that the Patriot Act made it easier for people we've tasked to protect America. That's what we want. We want people to have the tools necessary to do the job we expect them to do.
A statement cast in a totally different light by the revelation in January 2006 that at the time of this speech (aimed at renewing the Patriot Act), Dubya had already initiated a covert program that bypassed the FISA courts and ordered wire taps under his own authority, Hershey, Pennsylvania, Apr. 19, 2004 Good evening. Before I take your questions, let me speak with the American people about the situation in Iraq. This has been tough weeks in that country.
Coalition forces have encountered serious violence in some areas of Iraq. Our military commanders report that this violence is being insticated by three groups.
Secretary of State Powell and Secretary of State Rumsfeld, and a number of NATO defense and foreign ministers are exploring a more formal role for NATO.
DUBYA: It was my way to — to help kick off the baseball season.
SPORTSCASTER: That's neat. DUBYA: I, I really think it's, uhh — an integral part of the — fabric of our society, and, uhh — I'm, I'm gonna try to do my part to make sure baseball gets the notoriety it deserves. You can't see what you think is a threat and hope it goes away. You used to could when the oceans protected us, but the lesson of September the 11th is, is when the President sees a threat, we must deal with it before it — before it comes to fruition through death on our own soils, for example.
Side note on this quote: You have to hear Dubya when he enunciates the word "fruition"... It's an experience in itself. It's too bad we don't have the audio. Albuquerque, New Mexico, Mar. 26, 2004 You wanna be, uhh, blunt about what has taken place, sometimes when you don't measure, you just shuffle kids through. Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiter — literacy level of our children are appalling.
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