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Sticks & Stones To those who would hurl sticks and stones, remember the words of your leader: "It's important for those of us who value democracy to promote an independent media." - Dubya, Moscow, Russia, May 24, 2002 [CAUTION] Some of the e-mails cited on Sticks & Stones are not suitable for viewing by children.
THE 1ST CAMP: YOU'RE A SORE (GORE) LOSER WITH A POLITICAL AGENDA Comment: Your site seems obsessed with displaying how our current president mangles the language. Not like the last one, eh? He only mangled the honor of the White House, inconvenient witnesses, innocent people in asprin [sic] factories, and the word 'is'. Perhaps it's time to lay off conservatives, and pick on a liberal for once. You could start with Ted Kennedy...nah. Too easy. ;) DubyaSpeak.com: My site isn't obsessed. That is its sole purpose. That's why it's called DubyaSpeak.com. If there were another prominent politician today who messed up the English language as much as Dubya does, I might even consider making a new page covering that person. Even better, you could make the new page. Bring it on. Comment: I'm disappointed. I found the prospect of reading more "misunderestimated" quotes to be inviting, but most of the material here is lame. Most of it comes across as if the editor were an unemployed, nit-picking junior college english [sic] major using his/her 15 hours of english [sic] credits to try and make a weak political statement. How'd you get Yahoo! to feature you? DubyaSpeak.com: I hate to be nitpicking, but aren't most full-time college students "unemployed"? You know, because they study during business hours? I don't know how the material could be lame, given that all of the material is supplied from Dubya's tongue-twisted mouth, but I'll agree to disagree on that. You'll have to ask Yahoo! why they decided to make DubyaSpeak a "Yahoo! Pick", but I would hazard a guess that they thought this site was funny. Comment: Are you still bitter about your buddy Bill? Or is it Al's screwup that ticks you off so much? Either way "W" IS the pres - and they ain't. DubyaSpeak.com: Tell me how that changes the fact that Dubya says some really puzzling and hilarious things? You seem to be laboring under the false impression that I am a shadow operative for Bill Clinton and/or Al Gore. It may surprise you to learn that I am not. Comment: WHERE IS THE SEXUAL MORALITY WEBSITE FOR OUR PAST PRESIDENT CLINTON? DubyaSpeak.com: Obviously not here, buddy. Comment: You do not seem to like or respect or support our president. Why not? I do not understand. What is so funny? What would you rather have? What are the alternatives? What is your point? What is your goal? What is your agenda? What is your plan? Just wondering.... DubyaSpeak.com: To reiterate... DubyaSpeak.com's sole goal is to document the frequent, and simultaneously scary and humorous mistakes that Dubya makes in the English language. The alternatives to Dubya in the White House are too numerous to mention here, and beside the point. If you don't think it's funny when the President of the United States says, "Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better," you're unlikely to ever get it. Comment: Get a life you creep--he is a lot better than than your buddy clinton [sic]. Where were you when he was president. [sic] DubyaSpeak.com: I think I was still laughing about Bush Senior's VP - Danny Quayle, whose command of the English language was nearly as entertaining as Dubya's. In retrospect, I suppose Bush Senior's selection of Danny makes a lot more sense if you presume he wanted a running mate who reminded him of his son. Comment: Pretty weak website, I bet you'd rather have Al Gore in the White House. What would he do on the war against terror, take a poll? It's not difficult to see you're a liberal. DubyaSpeak.com: Since this site isn't about Al Gore, I don't know what to tell you. Does Al Gore stand around and consistently say things as daft as "We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end." or "I hope we get to the bottom of the answer." or "There's always a difference of opinion sometimes between the House and the Senate."? Dubya does. Comment: What a waste of energy! Trashing a good man for a few oral blunders. I bet if you had a camera in your face every day you would be perfect... Right? Why don't you liberal sore losers just get behind our president and quit crying! DubyaSpeak.com: A few oral blunders!!! I hate to restate the obvious, but I guess I have to. This site features a mere sampling of the verbal blunders that are a fixture in Dubya's public speaking appearances -- a mere sampling totaling in the hundreds [Now we have over 4,000]. If you have a problem with me pointing these out (after all, I'm just reporting the truth), why don't you send a letter to Dubya urging him to take some public speaking classes? I see this purely as a supply side issue. Until Dubya learns to control his cake hole, he will continue to say incredibly hilarious things that I will have no compunction about offering up to the public. On your other point, I'm guessing that (a) you didn't read "Sticks & Stones" before you sent this letter, or (b) you're a really dense individual. Comment: i [sic] hope you get drafted [sic] you tree hugging [expletive], [sic] your [sic] obviously not from new york [sic], [sic] maybe if you have to watch you colleges [sic] jump out of burning buildings from 1100 feet in the air, then you'll support the war and president [sic] bush [sic]. What would you have rathered [sic] gore [sic], [sic] we'd have green peace [sic] in the mid east and they [sic] would still be blowing [expletive] up over here, i [sic] a damn doctor, you know the educated people who are supposed to criticise the government, [sic] theres [sic] a time to support and wish the people in the armed forces and the men who guide them luck!! DubyaSpeak.com: Either this is a joke, or the New York postgraduate educational system doesn't require its students to master basic grammar and usage before it certifies them as doctors. I can see why you would identify with Dubya. Rather than the armed forces, I wish your patients luck. They'll need it. Comment: At least he aint [sic] gettin [expletive] jobs from a fat [expletive] like monica [sic] under the podium like Bill Marx...oh, I mean Clinton. Thank God we have a Texan and a Republican, so you lefties won't be in power for awhile. By the way, pray I'm never president, cause I'll shoot every fag and bum out there...just like you. DubyaSpeak.com: This one is so lame that I almost think you sent it in just to see if I'd post it on the Sticks & Stones page. Then again, you could actually be another homophobic, gun-toting representative of the state Dubya likes to claim as his home. And just in case you thought it was, "shooting people" isn't in the job description for President of the United States. Not even in Dubya's twisted universe (yet?) Comment: You poor misguided peanut brained morons, I suppose dealing with a compulsive liar like Clinton for so many years you would'nt [sic] know the truth if it hit you in the head like Clintons [sic] [expletive] to Monicas [sic] chin. DubyaSpeak.com: The only thing I can glean from your e-mail is that you don't like Clinton, and you have a hard time with the placement of apostrophes. But that's about it. Did I miss something? Comment: WHat [sic] a bunch of sore losers! It must kill you inside seeing how popular Bush is. I feel bad for you, guys. Don't worry, maybe by 2008 or 2012 you guys can get it together enough to get back in the game. Good luck, suckers. DubyaSpeak.com: Dubya's popularity isn't surprising at all, given how incompetent most of the modern media are, and how much fear mongering Dubya and his crew have performed since 9/11 to make sure that anyone who dares question their wisdom and/or judgment is instantly labelled a heretic, enemy or "sore loser". Let's hope that all the votes are counted in 2004, eh buddy? Comment: Im [sic] not going to attack you for your right to free speech, but the quotes on your site are taken out of context blah blah blah.......... DubyaSpeak.com: Ummm.......... No they aren't. Comment: Your title page is quite misleading. Just because one does not speak the English language in its best form, does [sic] not mean anything is damaged. In fact, your site's dedication to "Recording the Damage" is in fact designed to be "Damaging". Your site has no other purpose or value but to use "mistakes in speech" to damage the man. Well.....keep trying....the general public recognizes your agenda.....it is not stupid. DubyaSpeak.com: Contrary to your statement, the title page is quite accurate, since DubyaSpeak's "agenda" is to point out that when Dubya opens his mouth, all sorts of hilarious, scary, confusing and/or damaging things fly out. One could even take the meaning of the phrase so far as to imply that Dubya might be better off just keeping his mouth shut, but you won't catch me saying that. I've got a site to run, after all. Comment: There's no argument Georgie is not one of the more articulate President's [sic] we've ever had. He is, however, one of the most honest, sincere and determined. He also possesses a high level of personal integrity. These are all qualities absent in our prior President who you Europeans seem to love. On balance, I can live with the malaprops. With the disastrous condition your country [sic: Europe = country?] is in (rampant pornograpy, high unemployment, a pathetic work ethic and 70% of families with single parents) I wonder why you are so obsessed with our President? [sic] DubyaSpeak.com: I'm not sure where you got the idea that we're a European website, or that 70% of families in Europe are single-parent families, but you're wrong on both counts. Now, you may be able to live with the malaprops (more power to you), but frankly I find that somewhat difficult -- at least not without jotting them all down first. And you were kidding about the honesty, sincerity and personal integrity stuff, right? Comment: LOLOLOLOLOLOL... I feel sorry for you folks...you lost two presidential elections and you can't figure out...the rest of the uS [sic] voted him in....LOLOLOLOL...complete idiots. Your [sic] all alone with your small group of dumb [expletive] and you cant [sic] win an election...because your [sic] complete [expletive]. LOLOLOLOLOLOL DubyaSpeak.com: In case you forgot, I would remind you that the majority of Americans didn't vote to elect Dubya in 2000. But I would be the first to agree that the Democratic Party's electoral performance lately has been less than stellar. I just don't need to swear up a storm to say it. I'd recommend using spell check next time, too. Comment: at least he knows what the definition of "is" is............. DubyaSpeak.com: To be frank, I think the jury is still out on that one. He has, after all, demonstrated an inability to differentiate "is" from "are" on several occasions (Examples: 1 | 2 | 3). But in Dubya's case, it's the rest of the English language that I'm worried about. Comment: you suck. your site sucks. harboring a seven year grudge must really suck. get a [expletive] life you loser DubyaSpeak.com: I presume that you mean to suggest that this site exists solely because I was dissatisfied with the 2000 presidential election (I'm not saying I wasn't!), which was decided 6 years and 4 months ago (calculated from the time of this e-mail). To harbor a seven-year grudge, I'd need to have started my grudge in April 2000, which would be pretty weird, since the election was only decided 8 months later. But thanks for worrying that I don't have a life. I can assure you that I do.
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